'The Dirt'

Over the past couple of months, people have been on a constant path to ask me if I'm happy. In one word, Clearly! It took me a long time to get back to the happy go lucky, smiley, full of laughter self. But I'm here, and I've been here for a while now. I suppose people ask because they appear to want to be concerned....I know otherwise. Living in a small town, like Greenville, means most people ask questions because they want to know 'the dirt'. So here's 'the dirt' on my happiness.

I lost essentially a little over two years of my life. Partly because I stopped living, and partly because of doctors. So I took a stand....I gained back my confidence, composure, and strength. I made decisions for ME! I made up my mind that since I had overcome so much, that I wasn't going to allow anything else in this world to ever stop me again. I was born independent and strong willed. Although I had lost many positive qualities about me over the course of my path, I gained them back in full swing. My Moma raised me to stand up for myself, to protect myself. To never quiet my thoughts or opinions. To always remember I had a voice to be heard. In my voice, I found strength again.

And just like that I began to laugh. Oh, I love laughing. The kind of laughing where you feel it deep in your bones, see it in your eyes, and hear it ringing out. Now I have many different laughs. I have small delicate giggles that I use to be polite. I have the typical laugh that lasts for a few seconds. BUT the real laugh is the one that is heard through walls and doors, when I stomp my foot and slap my knee, when I have tears falling down my cheeks, when I can't stop. That's the laugh that reminds me that I'm alive. That I'm a miracle.

I'm not saying that I wouldn't change certain things about my life.....Everyone would. I'm simply saying, I'm happy. Yes, I wish my legs were longer, my eyes bigger. I wish I had a Tahoe to drive, I wish I had a big sprawling home. But those are wishes, and whose to say maybe one day they won't come true.

 So in the meantime, I'll be happy and content with my little cottage, my TrailBlazer, my short legs, my dark dark tiny eyes. I'll be happy knowing that my Moma says I have diamonds in my eyes, they sparkle so much. I'll be happy knowing that I have a roof over my head and a car that drives. I'll be happy knowing that I have good people in my life that love me. I'll be happy knowing that when I laugh, my Bob says it makes HIM feel good inside. I'll be happy knowing that I can handle anything life throws at me. I'll be happy knowing someone JUST TODAY said I reminded them of my Grandmother, Robert Ellen Foster....That she was the most elegant lady they'd ever met, and I possessed the same qualities. And let me tell you, being told I am an elegant lady gives me plenty to smile and laugh about.....